SURVIVING FILTHY HOUSE SYNDROME
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Is Filthy House Syndrome
giving you the blues?



Don't let FHS get you down! It is possible to not only survive FHS; but, to accept it as well. If you are here looking for a cure, you won't find it! I don't want to turn any Filthy Frans into Spotless Suzies!!
The truth is, once you have FHS, you will probably have it for the rest of your life. You will probably never have a home that makes front page of "Beautiful Homes of America". AND THAT"S OKAY!
The goal is to have a home that is functional; not one that is perfect!

  COMMON PITFALLS:
TOO MANY THINGS
Most of us keep getting more and more stuff without getting rid of anything. It's a wonder our homes don't explode! Before school starts, donate outgrown clothing to Goodwill and get rid of clothing that is worn out! Before birthdays and Christmas, weed through toys, games, and books and donate any that are "neglected" to charity! During the whole year, quit saving so much junk!

NOT ENOUGH SPACE
Most people just do not have enough storage space or living space. It is really hard to keep a home tidy when there is nowhere to put things! We have to make the most of what we have! HOW?? SHELVES AND MORE SHELVES!

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Alot of us who suffer from FHS tell ourselves things like,"I'll never get it all done." "It's pointless. Everyone around here is lazy and messy." "It'll just get dirty again"
If we could just catch ourselves self-destructing and be more positive, we could atleast get something done (even if it is something small!). We should be telling ourselves things like,"Atleast, it's cleaner than before." "The house will be nicer now.", ect.

PLANNING OR ATTEMPTING TO GET IT ALL DONE AT ONCE
FHS commonly causes people to put off doing chores until the home is on the verge of condemnation. Then, we decide after putting off chores for a month, that we will get a month's worth of chores done in one day! It is scientifically impossible! Do not attempt it!

I'm regretfully guilty of this myself.
In one single Saturday, I will plan to clean my car, pay bills, vacuum, mop, dust, get rid of the cobwebs, clean out all the dressers, clean out the fridge, wash down the cabinets, clean the bathrooms,ect. I'll work myself into a near coma and only get a few things done. At the end of the day, I promise never to let things get that out of hand again! (HA! I actually believe myself when I think that!)
A better plan, would be to keep up with the dishes and laundry day to day and do one "big job" a weekend. Rome wasn't built in a day; and a house can't be cleaned in a day!!

BEING INCONSISTENT
I finally manage to get the house "decent" and in less than one day all my hard work is destroyed! How does that happen? I finally figured it out. I am not consistent. One night, I wash the dishes as soon as dinner is over. The next day, I leave the dishes sit over night. For a week, I'll make my bed as soon as I get up. Eventually, a month will go by without ever having made the bed! To have a home that is orderly the majority of the time, you have to be consitent and faithful with a chore routine. I don't know about you, but that is just too much work for me! Oh well, who really cares at this point? We don't even notice the grime anymore.

PROPAGANDA
The world around us is just filled with images of "perfect" homes. You know the cookie dough ad with the two story house that has expensive furniture that doesn't have the first stain on it and the mother is in a spotless kitchen wearing make-up and hugging her kids with a bright, white smile? Why do we buy into those ads? We see magazine covers with elegant, spotless family rooms and we think we should obtain that atmosphere in our home. OH, PLEASE! Let's get real! You can't let these images make you discontent with your life and the way you live it. Do you have any idea how much money, time, and people it takes to make just one of those single "fantasy ads". Let us be content with the way our lifestyle really is. I am grateful to have a roof over our heads where my littles ones are safe and cozy. I don't care if we eat gourmet meals off fine china. I am content in the fact that I am fortunate enough that my children are not going hungry, like other kids in this world. My sheets may very well be grubby, but atleast we have a bed to sleep in! Be thankful for what you do have and don't sweat the fact that your life isn't good enough for television!!

DOING ALL THE WORK OURSELVES
Why is it that there may be four people living in a home, but only one takes care of the household chores? You've heard it before - your kids need to learn how to do household tasks. So, why aren't they? Everyone should pitch in. Don't expect everyone to put in hours a day and to have a spotless home. Remember, keep low standards. The goal is to have a home that is livable and peaceful. Everyone should have one or two daily chores and clean up after themselves. You'd be amazed at the difference this makes!

WE FEEL OVER-WORKED!
Let's face it; our lives have many aspects. We work, run errands, raise kids, cook, and we still have a house to clean! It's no wonder so many of us live in filth! There isn't much time left for housework. Besides, who has the energy for it ?!?
Often, we get most tired after dinner. When we are exhausted, we are also messy! We are too tired to do the dinner dishes or throw a load of clothes in the washer. But, if we could just force ourselves to do one thing, we wouldn't get so far behind. We should all try to be a little neater in the evening (even though we are exhausted!). We are eventually going to have to pick up the mess so we should try not to be slobs when we are feeling worn out!

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DISCLAIMER
I, Filthy Fran, am in no way fit to give advice on running and maintaining a home. All advice, tips, and suggestions given are simple ways to cope with Filthy House Syndrome. I am not claiming to be adequate in any manner!
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TIPS AND TRICKS:

SPOTLESS SUZIE SAYS:
- Instead of cleaning a whole room from top to bottom, do a little through out the whole house.

- Always straighten up the "main rooms" before bed each night and before leaving the house.


- When cooking, make extra to freeze. This will be a big help when in a pinch.

- Prevention is the best medicine. If you don't want to clean up messes, quit making them!

- Be faithful in doing "daily" chores!

- Make the extra effort to train your children to be faithful and effective in their daily chores. Teach them to be neat by always rinsing their dishes, rinsing the bathroom sink after brushing teeth and washing hands, and to always pick up their toys as soon as they are done with them.

- Invite someone over for a visit. You'll be motivated to get the house clean before your company arrives.

- REWARD YOURSELF FOR A JOB WELL DONE!!
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FILTHY FRAN SAYS:
- Don't get overwhelmed about where to begin! Start with what would make the biggest difference.

- Don't worry about buffing and polishing. Just pick up the "big chunks".

- Have the kids pitch in with the whole house; not just their rooms.

- Windex works wonderfully on un-carpeted floors. You don't have to mop the whole floor. Just spray Windex on the dirty spots and wipe up with the mop or paper towels.

- NEVER (and I mean NEVER!) invite anyone over!!

- Be realistic about how the house should really be. Keep your standards LOW.

- Use lots of disposables (paper plates, plastic silverware, foil pans, ect.).

- Be creative with storage containers. You'd be suprised how much can fit into an empty coffe can. You can stuff it with papers, loose change, nail polish, whatever and it just looks like a coffee can sitting on the counter or in the cabinet.

- READY - SET- RACE!
Get it done as fast as possible. Don't worry about the end result. Just run around picking up as fast as you can!
(Practice this on the kids. I call it a "somebody is coming over practice drill". Tell everyone your mother will be there in 20 minutes and that you all have to clean up as fast as possible.)






















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  EXCUSE THE MESS EXCUSES: Let's face it - eventually, we will have to answer to our mother, spouse, or a Child Protective Worker about why our house is so filthy.
Here are a few of my all-time favorites.


- " I have been diagnosed with Filthy House Syndrome. I am currently being treated by an unlicensed doctor."

- "The police tore this place to pieces today. I had to let them because they had a search warrant to look for illegal drugs."

- "I hurt my back last week. I could really use some help around here."
(hint, hint)

- "I was just about to clean up when 'Better Homes and Gardens' called to say they were cancelling my subscription and refunding my money."

- "My husband's mistress is a real pig. I am getting ready to kick her out and then I'll be able to get this place in order."

- "I haven't been able to get anything done since I ran out of Prozac."

- "I'm on STRIKE!"

- "The maid called in sick again."

- "This place was spotless until the kids tied me up and locked me in the basement. I was just getting ready to call 911 when you rang the doorbell..."

- "I was in a car accident yesterday that caused me to have Amnesia. I can't remember how to clean house anymore. What did you say your name was again?"
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BEWARE OF OUTSIDERS!

I think the hardest part of having
Filthy House Syndrome is when people
visit. I really struggle with this!
I am afraid people will think that
I am just lazy. I'm not lazy. I do lots
of stuff; housework just isn't one of them!


I rarely get suprised by an unexpected
guest. Most everyone lets me know they
are coming. That doesn't mean I clean
like a mad woman before they come. I
prefer to have people over that also
suffer from FHS. This allows all of
us to be totally comfortable during
the visit.


Once in awhile, a Spotless Suzie comes
over though. This is when I begin to
think that I really should try harder.
Once Spotless Suzie leaves, however,
that thought completely
evaporates from my mind!
I am not going to knock myself out
keeping my home like Spotless Suzy
just because she stops by once in
awhile. Besides, FHS is contagious.
She's bound to catch it if she
keeps hanging out with me!!
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THE HOUSEWIFES' PRAYER

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord will send me a maid to keep;

Let me wake to clean pots and pans,
May my tables be cleared of chips and pop cans;

Please let there be clean clothes in the drawers,
and a fresh pine scent in my home for evermore.

AMEN
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